WHO STOLE MY SPARK?

Standing here by my own wondering where and why my blue spark has left me. I am stuck in the middle of nowhere, caught in this trap with them because I thought I would have been able to discover new colours of mine, but instead of that I lost the only colour I had.

I am just trying to move on but after few steps I am stumbling, and I try again and stumbling again, apparently, nothing seems to work in regaining my balance. I can see them looking at me and wondering why am I here with them because nothing matches between us, not even a single piece of me doesn’t match with their ideas, their personal values or their purposes. I am the only one who stubbornly decided to stay here, in other people’s stories.

But who knew I would be left alone? Who knew that my only colour would have left me during this tough and exhausting process?

I am not even able to ask for help and this is not about pride or ego. They are not here to help you or see you, or support you, they are here to fulfil their dreams, not yours. Personally, I need to find my way back home, far away from this sadness and misery. My soul breaks into millions of pieces with each day spent away from my blue spark colour.

No strengths, no voice and no colour. I am not breathing properly and I feel I am suffocating with my dreams that should have been a reality a long time ago. I know that this is not all of it, I know I have a vivid and beautiful colour deep down inside me and I know blue will find a way to find me.

There is nothing wrong with not being strong enough and right now I let myself be weak and lost.

Sweetheart, someday you will shine like never before!