FRUSTRATION, UNASSUMED DEFEAT

This is what frustration stands for…It’s such a beautiful and complete definition of what this emotion means.

We all have our path in life, for some of us it may seem to be easier when we are looking at those around us and being judgmental, or it may seem to be difficult, when we are referring to ourselves. It’s just a superficial perspective and a comfortable feeling that we gain when we try to find excuses for our failures.

Even if you already know that other people’s opinion about you are none of your business, or it should not affect you, this thing it’s almost impossible to implement. Especially when you are tired, lonely, exhausted, weakened, and those critics hit more then ever on your self-confidence. And, as a result of all this, you start doubting yourself. Your choices, values, what’s right or wrong now seems to have a different meaning. You flog yourself and deliberately punish yourself.

My path wasn’t smooth at all, even if from the outside and without any other information it may seems to be so. I constantly hear that I am a lucky person, but despite the fact that this is such an annoying affirmation, let me tell you that this is not luck, this is fucking ambition, this is testing my limits, this is constantly getting out of my comfort zone. These are decisions, lots of work, pressure and stress and giving up was not an option. I never gave up on what I wanted and what I truly believe I deserve. And I deserve so much more, we all deserve so much more.

I didn’t follow the common path because there was no creativity, nothing new, nothing surprising, nothing scary, nothing empowering. The known path was platonic and it didn’t bring me anything. I followed my heart, without anything premeditated, just me and my instinct, me and my convictions that this life has something wonderful to offer me, and it did and is still offering.

Once again, this is not luck, this is hard work, this is exhaustion.

So why am I frustrated at? Because the path I took seems to be so unacceptable for them.

Sweetheart, if they are jugging you, then be sure you are on the right path! Hang in there!